Grief, Healing, Transitions

Pandemic Orientation

Each day is unpredictable. Time is twisting. Some days I feel fired up and inspired by my desires and projects. Before I know, I am slammed with grief, both universal and personal.  Sensitive to the strong emotions flying around, I struggle to focus, or to do more than sleep and go for walks. I can feel myself being pulled in so many directions. 

I’m reminding myself a lot lately that this pandemic is really hard for humans, but perhaps quite a blessing for Earth. Our human world relates catastrophe to how it effects us. The world is so much more. This is not to downplay the hardship, but to open up my perspective beyond politics and my screaming activist heart. Humans are undergoing a major lesson and a major shift in consciousness, that will last far beyond the health crisis. 

May this be a time that all souls learn lessons and go forward to create something new, rather than go back to the old ways. The old constructs are falling, and we can rise to nature what we are wanting next. We are being forced to look inward and ask what we are really doing with our lives. This introspection can feel traumatic, especially if we have been able to distract ourselves with life’s routines, habits, and what we took for granted.

My friend reminded me that even though I care and feel so much, that what I am doing here is far beyond politics. That healing isn’t about understanding meaning, or figuring anything out. Western culture is so caught in knowing, and ironically that focus can keep us blind to the lessons. Healing is about bringing light and balance to the parts of us in need. It is about expanding our beliefs of what is possible. We can be a light even if we are surrounded by darkness. We can be compassionate without making their pain our own.

Orienting myself this way has really helped me get more excited about my own path, and less worried about what it should all look like. There is no way to know. The entire world is flying by the seat of their pants, and in that, we find solidarity. 

balance, Healing, Uncategorized

Corona: circle of light around a luminous body

The magnetic field of our heart, that is in constant conversation with the center of our being. 

Our lungs and heart center being affected says something about where the spiritual aspects of this virus exist, and which parts of us our vulnerable. It is essentially this energy center of the body that is begging for care. Move your arms, and stretch your chest open in all dimensions so be able to hold more than just the fear and anxiety of our own vulnerability. Thump your fist over your chest to awaken this center of breath and compassion.

How ironic that in a great wake up call to come together, we are being told to isolate. How does it feel to distance ourselves by force rather than the usual way of our privileged  independence? We are already sick from lack of tactile intimacy, and now we are even more afraid of physical connection. Disease feeds on paranoia and fear. Relaxation boosts the immune system.  How safe do you feel when you exchange a loving embrace?

Who is actually going to be ok and who is just going to have a burnt ego?

This grand wake up call exposes the fragility of our financial systems and the massive holes in our government’s readiness (and willingness) to care for our people. Is this what it takes to not ignore the incredible gap between those who are eligible for government protections and services and who is not? as though eligibility means anything…

This cosmic wake up call highlights our priorities and self versus other, mine versus theirs, fault versus responsibility. Heaven forbid the rich world fall victim to such a tragedy, and heaven forbid our protectors do not actually have our best interests at heart. Why are we so concerned with the stock market as though it is a truthful representations of what people’s lives are like? 

As things shut down, how are we choosing to slow down and consume less? For the wealthy and stable, this is a luxurious chance to simplify. For many it is a scramble in the face of their disenfranchisement. For all it begs the question of what we are doing here for ourselves and for each other. 

What does immunity actually mean?

Who feels like they have choice and who is dependent? Who hands over their life to fear and institutional power? Who do we put our trust in? How do we collectively rise rather than crumble in the contractive force of fear and chaos? Are we willing to be both soft and strong as we commit to justice and balance?

The illumination of the heart expands with love and compassion. May this corona of light be what sets the world on fire.